BEHIND THE SONGS, DAY #6

June 06, 2008

WHEN I BREAK
Behind the Song

"I started getting the idea for this song one morning after attending my Bible Study group. It's a small group for women with young children, and I have been so blessed to have them in my life. In our study we had been talking about finding balance in our lives, and how the idea of the perfect balance can be deceiving because it sometimes causes us to focus too much on outward "togetherness" which can really be masking inward turmoil. The Bible talks about not measuring with false scales, which in this day and age is hard to do. I know I'm so guilty of looking at what other people have and thinking how much better things must be for them. Before I know it, I'm venturing down the typical "If only..." road. Being a new mom has led me into a deeper mode of self examination. All I want is to be the best Mommy for Stella, and to raise her to become a healthy, thriving, happy person who loves God with all her heart, and I know I've been guilty of using false scales to weigh the job I'm doing. So many times, I find myself second guessing the way I handle certain situations. "I shouldn't have done that, I haven't done enough of this, it's my fault because... " I've always been this way, incredibly hard on myself, but I think now that I'm a mom I have to be careful not to let it take control. I have to trust that God is leading me as Stella's Mom, and He has a plan for her, too, and is leading and guiding her. So, I started writing this song, and in the process re-discovered this wonderful verse.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." In this stage in my life, I have had to face more of my weaknesses, but thankfully I am learning to lean more on God's strength rather than my own. His love betters me, and when I break and I fall apart His grace puts me back together." - Kristin

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